Taking Chances

2003-09-04, 7:45 p.m.
I’ve been home for less than 48 hours and I’ve somehow managed to overcome jetlag, a minor head cold and an overwhelming amount of laundry. The past two days have been amazingly productive for me: I’ve unpacked, sorted through two weeks’ worth of mail, answered dozens of e-mails, turned in one article and written two others – and in the process I managed to snag a part-time job.

I’m definitely glad to be back home, in my own bed, with regular Internet access, but I have to admit, despite spending two weeks sleeping on an air mattress, sharing a car with my dad and sharing one shower with my entire family, it was good to go home.

My mom and I sat in the backyard chatting, my dad and I argued politics and my sister took me shopping in an attempt to bring my wardrobe into the 21st century (needless to say, she was not impressed when I chose matching yoga pants and a jacket). J and I took a road trip, I spent time with good friends, ate a lot of good food and got sick on the rides at Canada’s Wonderland (in a vain attempt at being considered a good sport).

Now I’m home.

September has always signaled the beginning of a new year for me – much more than January does. I put an extra blanket on the bed, wear cozy sweaters, brew endless cups of tea and set goals for the year. Since it’s still close to 100 degrees in Portland, I’ve had to postpone the blankets, sweaters and tea in favor of air conditioning, shorts and cold water, but I have been thinking a lot about setting goals.

Here’s what I’ve decided: this year, I’m not setting goals.

For the past year my life has seemed a bit out of control. J was laid off, which forced me to face a lot of fears and issues from my past. I spent several months working in a toxic environment and dealt with a huge sense of failure when I decided to quit. I’ve struggled with my identity and had to consider how my ambitions as an individual are affected by my marriage. At one point I even considered giving up writing for a “real” job.

I was standing in a bookstore in Ottawa when I read the tagline on the cover of a novel that said, “Life offers you a thousand chances…all you have to do is take one.” And I decided that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Instead of plotting a course for the next year, I’m going to take chances along the way. For a girl who lives by lists and goals and accomplishments, it’s a brave move.

Keep reading to see how it works out.